I never really talked that much about the care of the dead with my parents. I knew that they want to be cremated but that's pretty much it.. I wanted to see if my parents had an old fashion view on the topic or if they really thought about it the same as the previous people I talked to. So I asked the same questions and made the comparisons. My parent's talked a lot and went into some personal memories, so I didn't write everything that they said but just some to give the basic vibe of their views.
Questions:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
Mom- I'm not used to viewings and I don't agree with putting make up on a dead body and to pay a funeral home to fix them up and dress them up. I believe in cremation I think that's better. I think that you don't have to wear black to mourn and I don't think it's necessary but if you want to I think it's fine. I like when people have a memorial and celebrate the life of the person that died because I think it's good to think about the good times you had with the person.
Dad- I've been raised with it and I understand it, I've been brought up where its a way of showing respect to the person and showing sympathy to the family of the person who's lost, but personally I think the whole process is a little weird. I think it's much better to get together and have a memorial service and talk about the person's life and your relationship with them and things that you remember with them... And I think everyone should wear pink (he laughed and said I'm only kidding don't write that). A lot of it I think is just tradition.
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
Mom- Cremation and have a memorial service.
Dad- I think to have a memorial service and I don't care how they dispose of the body. Probably the best thing is to donate the persons body parts for medical purposes. And to have a dinner with reeeaaaally good food and drink afterwards.
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
At a funeral it's usually a preist talking about the person and they have a very limited contact and knowledge of the person.. Where when you have friends talking about them it's a much more personal experience.
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
Mom- I don't like them. I think it's weird. I believe the person is the soul and the body is just the vehicle.
Dad- I think it's a little strange to view a dead body that's been made up and preserved. It's better to remember the person from when they were alive.
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Mom- Spread my ashes in Sweden over the Baltic sea. And keep a picture of me in your home and think of me now and then.. You don't have to go to a special place to see me. And I do want someone at my funeral singing.
Dad- That was the wishes we put in our will but maybe that will change. (And have a memorial service).
These answers somewhat surprised me.. They seemed to have EXACTLY all the same thoughts that I did. My Mom thought everything about the dominant social practices is strange and she doesn't agree with it at all and she's not used to it. My Dad seemed to understand it more probably because he grew up in America but he also thought that the way we do things are very weird. This surprised me because I have seen them go to funerals and I have been with them to funerals but they never really expressed their thoughts about it.. The only thing they ever went into was telling me and my brothers what they want us to do when they die. I think it's interesting that I didn't see any difference between my generation and their thoughts.
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