I never really talked that much about the care of the dead with my parents. I knew that they want to be cremated but that's pretty much it.. I wanted to see if my parents had an old fashion view on the topic or if they really thought about it the same as the previous people I talked to. So I asked the same questions and made the comparisons. My parent's talked a lot and went into some personal memories, so I didn't write everything that they said but just some to give the basic vibe of their views.
Questions:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
Mom- I'm not used to viewings and I don't agree with putting make up on a dead body and to pay a funeral home to fix them up and dress them up. I believe in cremation I think that's better. I think that you don't have to wear black to mourn and I don't think it's necessary but if you want to I think it's fine. I like when people have a memorial and celebrate the life of the person that died because I think it's good to think about the good times you had with the person.
Dad- I've been raised with it and I understand it, I've been brought up where its a way of showing respect to the person and showing sympathy to the family of the person who's lost, but personally I think the whole process is a little weird. I think it's much better to get together and have a memorial service and talk about the person's life and your relationship with them and things that you remember with them... And I think everyone should wear pink (he laughed and said I'm only kidding don't write that). A lot of it I think is just tradition.
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
Mom- Cremation and have a memorial service.
Dad- I think to have a memorial service and I don't care how they dispose of the body. Probably the best thing is to donate the persons body parts for medical purposes. And to have a dinner with reeeaaaally good food and drink afterwards.
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
At a funeral it's usually a preist talking about the person and they have a very limited contact and knowledge of the person.. Where when you have friends talking about them it's a much more personal experience.
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
Mom- I don't like them. I think it's weird. I believe the person is the soul and the body is just the vehicle.
Dad- I think it's a little strange to view a dead body that's been made up and preserved. It's better to remember the person from when they were alive.
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Mom- Spread my ashes in Sweden over the Baltic sea. And keep a picture of me in your home and think of me now and then.. You don't have to go to a special place to see me. And I do want someone at my funeral singing.
Dad- That was the wishes we put in our will but maybe that will change. (And have a memorial service).
These answers somewhat surprised me.. They seemed to have EXACTLY all the same thoughts that I did. My Mom thought everything about the dominant social practices is strange and she doesn't agree with it at all and she's not used to it. My Dad seemed to understand it more probably because he grew up in America but he also thought that the way we do things are very weird. This surprised me because I have seen them go to funerals and I have been with them to funerals but they never really expressed their thoughts about it.. The only thing they ever went into was telling me and my brothers what they want us to do when they die. I think it's interesting that I didn't see any difference between my generation and their thoughts.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
HW 47
For my interviews I looked back at the previous homework assignment and thought about what I thought was strange about the dominant social practices of care of the dead, and I formed some questions about them to see if other people felt the same way as I did. I just asked a few random people my questions.
My questions were:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Answers I got to the questions were:
Person 1:
1. I think we are all very closed minded when it comes to funerals. Everything we do have to be fitting according to the standards society has set. For examples dressing all black for funerals? Why not instead of mourning for someone death we all celebrate their life and accomplishments. Along with that we should wear colors that are vibrant to celebrate the persons life and not bring a sorrow feeling. It's fine to mourn at someone’s death but crying and feeling depressed is not going to bring the person back. Live in the now along with everyone to bring back fond memories of the person who has died.
2. The correct way to deal with death is inform those closely related to the person who has passed away. Family and close friends. Don't invite strangers who will feel left out unless you incorporate that person into the whole even/funeral. Don't just let him sit there without a clue of how the person who passed away was like while they were alive. Give the person background. It doesn't have to be at a funeral home it could be where the person used to live. It would be nice to have the person be at home around his family and friends one last time all together instead of at a funeral home paying a lot of money when it can all be a home under the right conditions. Don't let the funeral at home take place a month after the person has died make it the day after so it does not rot.
3. I think celebration of life is much more important than a funeral. At a funeral everyone is very solemn and it’s something people want to leave from and not be reminded about death. During a celebration of life you don't think of death in such a negative way. You look back on a person’s life and you think death is eminent but everyone goes out with a bang when everyone recalls the good times they had with that person.
4. I think that open caskets at a funeral are fine depending on the state of the body. I don't think people want to go up to a dead body that has been shot in the face a bunch of times. But at the same time some people are not comfortable looking at a dead person face to face. In my opinion it's good that way a person can see death up close and accept it. In other cultures like tribesman, they see death everyday when someone dies and don't oppose seeing the bodies because its part of life. People come to life when they are born and they die. Society just has us with these implemented ideas of not dealing with death unless people are at a funeral home that’s the only place death is acceptable to see.
5. To tell the truth I have been on the fence about either wanting to be buried or cremated. I would like to be buried but only because I know people will come visit my grave and that way I can feel at ease knowing that my legacy will be there because everyone wants to be remembered I don’t care what anyone says. On the other hand once your dead you are done why be buried instead be cremated that way no more cemeteries have to be expanded or built so other bodies can occupy it. What sucks is either way you have to pay a lot of money to be buried or cremated. I would rather be cremated and have my ashes spread out in Mexico and the U.S. and some ashes left over by some family but if that is too gross then just places where I use to live at or around.
Like a house I will soon own in Mexico.
And I would like a celebration of my life no funeral I don't want people to be sad I want people to remember me for the funny person I was and how I impacted their lives.
Everyone dies and once people realize that they mean nothing both in life and when they are gone we can all come to terms with death and not be put off by it and accept it as a regular part of life.
…PS Andy, Jeffery Rodriguez says what up!
Person 2:
1. They are draining
2. I don’t think there is a "correct" way it's however the family and friends (sometimes the dead) want it to be
3. I'd prefer to celebrate the life of the person who passed. They shouldn’t be sad that they’re gone, they should be happy they lived.
4. Never been to one so I don’t really care for them.
5. Bury me I guess.
Person 3:
1. I don't see anything wrong with the way the care of the dead is currently being done. I feel like the only thing that is slightly disturbing is cremation because I see that the person that you love is being thought of for one last time then they are burned to ash. I guess some people think that it is smarter because it cost less and it will be one less spot that is being used in a cemetery for probably the next hundred years. However the way I grew up was under this dominant social practice, funerals are to remember the body. Burials are to say goodbye to the body but the tombstone and burial site keeps it so that you can go visit the person. What is there to fix?
2. The idea of something being correct would be an opinion, so I don't think there is a correct way. But then again you ask what I think is correct, so what I think is a good way to handle the dead is however they want to be handled. In my interviews a lot of people said it would be up to their children and the person they are in a relationship with or married to but I don't think if someone wants to
me cremated you should bury them. Or vice versa. If they have any kind of crazy request I think these should also be respected because it is the way they want to go out and the way they want to be seen. They should be treated however they wanted to be treated.
3. I think the funeral is a celebration of life. It is like saying goodbye and people cry because it is hard to say goodbye to someone you have probably gotten close to in life. However I do think that funerals are celebrations of the person’s life. People tend to be sad because there is a lot to cope with in realizing that this person is gone, but seeing the body one last time and being able to say goodbye, and talk about what the person meant to you seems to be a celebration in my eyes.
4. Open casket funerals make more sense to me then closed casket funerals. I don't see why you would go to a funeral and not be able to see the body. Then again it all connects back to what the person who died wanted to happen to their body when they died. If a person wanted a closed casket funeral why not? However I think open casket funerals make more sense.
5. Bury me, next to my family. Play music. Remember me for who I was.
I thought it was interesting to see what these other people thought. The first two people seemed to agree with me about the dominant social practices of care of the dead and funerals, because they both thought that the way it is done is depressing and draining. The third person gave me a different viewpoint; he said that he felt that there was nothing wrong with the way care of the dead is in our society. He felt that everything made sense and it wasn’t necessarily depressing because of the way it is done but it is only depressing because someone you loved died, this idea makes sense to me but I disagree because I feel like everyone wearing black is pointless and makes things more depressing and also the vibe of funerals seem negative because they don’t seem to focus on celebrating the persons life. The first person also touched on the idea that I was thinking about which was spending a lot of money on a funeral and being buried. He talked about how it’s a shame that both being cremated and buried cost so much money. He thought that there is no point of spending so much money if you can get together with friends and family at a more comfortable place like where the person lived. I got a bunch of different answers about having an open casket funeral; no one really had the same thoughts as me about it. In my mind it makes sense to have the casket open to see the body, but at the same time it doesn’t seem right. I think this because in my mind it’s not really like seeing the person for the last time because it’s just the body of the person it doesn’t have “the soul”. They saw it as making sense because you’re seeing the person for a last time and saying goodbye. Also a new viewpoint I heard was that looking at the dead body at an open casket funeral is like seeing death first hand and helping people accept death. This kind of changed my thoughts about open casket funerals because when I thought about it that really made sense. Because I feel like death is kind of separated from us, so maybe it’s good to see that dead person face to face. Lastly, everyone I talked to seem to want to be remembered after they die and not have people sad but celebrate their lives for who they were and what they accomplished.
My questions were:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Answers I got to the questions were:
Person 1:
1. I think we are all very closed minded when it comes to funerals. Everything we do have to be fitting according to the standards society has set. For examples dressing all black for funerals? Why not instead of mourning for someone death we all celebrate their life and accomplishments. Along with that we should wear colors that are vibrant to celebrate the persons life and not bring a sorrow feeling. It's fine to mourn at someone’s death but crying and feeling depressed is not going to bring the person back. Live in the now along with everyone to bring back fond memories of the person who has died.
2. The correct way to deal with death is inform those closely related to the person who has passed away. Family and close friends. Don't invite strangers who will feel left out unless you incorporate that person into the whole even/funeral. Don't just let him sit there without a clue of how the person who passed away was like while they were alive. Give the person background. It doesn't have to be at a funeral home it could be where the person used to live. It would be nice to have the person be at home around his family and friends one last time all together instead of at a funeral home paying a lot of money when it can all be a home under the right conditions. Don't let the funeral at home take place a month after the person has died make it the day after so it does not rot.
3. I think celebration of life is much more important than a funeral. At a funeral everyone is very solemn and it’s something people want to leave from and not be reminded about death. During a celebration of life you don't think of death in such a negative way. You look back on a person’s life and you think death is eminent but everyone goes out with a bang when everyone recalls the good times they had with that person.
4. I think that open caskets at a funeral are fine depending on the state of the body. I don't think people want to go up to a dead body that has been shot in the face a bunch of times. But at the same time some people are not comfortable looking at a dead person face to face. In my opinion it's good that way a person can see death up close and accept it. In other cultures like tribesman, they see death everyday when someone dies and don't oppose seeing the bodies because its part of life. People come to life when they are born and they die. Society just has us with these implemented ideas of not dealing with death unless people are at a funeral home that’s the only place death is acceptable to see.
5. To tell the truth I have been on the fence about either wanting to be buried or cremated. I would like to be buried but only because I know people will come visit my grave and that way I can feel at ease knowing that my legacy will be there because everyone wants to be remembered I don’t care what anyone says. On the other hand once your dead you are done why be buried instead be cremated that way no more cemeteries have to be expanded or built so other bodies can occupy it. What sucks is either way you have to pay a lot of money to be buried or cremated. I would rather be cremated and have my ashes spread out in Mexico and the U.S. and some ashes left over by some family but if that is too gross then just places where I use to live at or around.
Like a house I will soon own in Mexico.
And I would like a celebration of my life no funeral I don't want people to be sad I want people to remember me for the funny person I was and how I impacted their lives.
Everyone dies and once people realize that they mean nothing both in life and when they are gone we can all come to terms with death and not be put off by it and accept it as a regular part of life.
…PS Andy, Jeffery Rodriguez says what up!
Person 2:
1. They are draining
2. I don’t think there is a "correct" way it's however the family and friends (sometimes the dead) want it to be
3. I'd prefer to celebrate the life of the person who passed. They shouldn’t be sad that they’re gone, they should be happy they lived.
4. Never been to one so I don’t really care for them.
5. Bury me I guess.
Person 3:
1. I don't see anything wrong with the way the care of the dead is currently being done. I feel like the only thing that is slightly disturbing is cremation because I see that the person that you love is being thought of for one last time then they are burned to ash. I guess some people think that it is smarter because it cost less and it will be one less spot that is being used in a cemetery for probably the next hundred years. However the way I grew up was under this dominant social practice, funerals are to remember the body. Burials are to say goodbye to the body but the tombstone and burial site keeps it so that you can go visit the person. What is there to fix?
2. The idea of something being correct would be an opinion, so I don't think there is a correct way. But then again you ask what I think is correct, so what I think is a good way to handle the dead is however they want to be handled. In my interviews a lot of people said it would be up to their children and the person they are in a relationship with or married to but I don't think if someone wants to
me cremated you should bury them. Or vice versa. If they have any kind of crazy request I think these should also be respected because it is the way they want to go out and the way they want to be seen. They should be treated however they wanted to be treated.
3. I think the funeral is a celebration of life. It is like saying goodbye and people cry because it is hard to say goodbye to someone you have probably gotten close to in life. However I do think that funerals are celebrations of the person’s life. People tend to be sad because there is a lot to cope with in realizing that this person is gone, but seeing the body one last time and being able to say goodbye, and talk about what the person meant to you seems to be a celebration in my eyes.
4. Open casket funerals make more sense to me then closed casket funerals. I don't see why you would go to a funeral and not be able to see the body. Then again it all connects back to what the person who died wanted to happen to their body when they died. If a person wanted a closed casket funeral why not? However I think open casket funerals make more sense.
5. Bury me, next to my family. Play music. Remember me for who I was.
I thought it was interesting to see what these other people thought. The first two people seemed to agree with me about the dominant social practices of care of the dead and funerals, because they both thought that the way it is done is depressing and draining. The third person gave me a different viewpoint; he said that he felt that there was nothing wrong with the way care of the dead is in our society. He felt that everything made sense and it wasn’t necessarily depressing because of the way it is done but it is only depressing because someone you loved died, this idea makes sense to me but I disagree because I feel like everyone wearing black is pointless and makes things more depressing and also the vibe of funerals seem negative because they don’t seem to focus on celebrating the persons life. The first person also touched on the idea that I was thinking about which was spending a lot of money on a funeral and being buried. He talked about how it’s a shame that both being cremated and buried cost so much money. He thought that there is no point of spending so much money if you can get together with friends and family at a more comfortable place like where the person lived. I got a bunch of different answers about having an open casket funeral; no one really had the same thoughts as me about it. In my mind it makes sense to have the casket open to see the body, but at the same time it doesn’t seem right. I think this because in my mind it’s not really like seeing the person for the last time because it’s just the body of the person it doesn’t have “the soul”. They saw it as making sense because you’re seeing the person for a last time and saying goodbye. Also a new viewpoint I heard was that looking at the dead body at an open casket funeral is like seeing death first hand and helping people accept death. This kind of changed my thoughts about open casket funerals because when I thought about it that really made sense. Because I feel like death is kind of separated from us, so maybe it’s good to see that dead person face to face. Lastly, everyone I talked to seem to want to be remembered after they die and not have people sad but celebrate their lives for who they were and what they accomplished.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
HW 46
I have a couple experiences with care of the dead because I've been to a few funerals. The ones I've been to have been open caskets. And everyone walked up to the casket and said their last goodbyes to the person. I mean this kind of makes sense to have the person there so everyone can say goodbye before the casket is closed and taken away. But I also thought it was kind of weird because the dead person has make up on and they're dressed up with their hands crossed, it seems like they're fake. It's like they're a person at the wax museum. Another thing was that I carried the casket with a few other guys at the last funeral I went to and it seemed expensive which made me think: why would you spend a ton of money on this box that you're just going to bury in the ground? These were the only things I can think of about my experiences. I guess the only way I've been taught to think and act towards dead people is to be respectful. I think the social norms around the treatment of dead people in our culture is to show respect and to remember the good things about them. I don't think either of these are weird because they both make sense because no one wants to be remembered for the bad things. These are pretty much all my thoughts about care of the dead. I'm not really sure of what's not normal about our treatment of dead people..
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
HW 45
Response to Chris's comment:
Thanks for the comment! I completely agree with what you said. I think I should have explained my thoughts on the ideas I explored in my project and also done some research. I just didn't want to explain everything that happened so much because then there would be no point of watching the videos. I also think we should work together on another project but figure out something that is actually possible to do with the time we have because I think our projects are more creative than everyone just doing their own thing individually.
Response to my Mom's comment:
Thanks for the comment! I agree with everything you said also. I saw a big difference from when I was interviewing you compared to a lot of other women. Like you said a lot of women seem very unsure and have little knowledge on birth. And I think it is very important to have more knowledge and to be mentally and physically prepared. I should have told you about this project so you could have helped me out with getting to a hospital/or your midwife that you told me you could have got me to meet. I'll let you know about my next projects.
Thanks for the comment! I completely agree with what you said. I think I should have explained my thoughts on the ideas I explored in my project and also done some research. I just didn't want to explain everything that happened so much because then there would be no point of watching the videos. I also think we should work together on another project but figure out something that is actually possible to do with the time we have because I think our projects are more creative than everyone just doing their own thing individually.
Response to my Mom's comment:
Thanks for the comment! I agree with everything you said also. I saw a big difference from when I was interviewing you compared to a lot of other women. Like you said a lot of women seem very unsure and have little knowledge on birth. And I think it is very important to have more knowledge and to be mentally and physically prepared. I should have told you about this project so you could have helped me out with getting to a hospital/or your midwife that you told me you could have got me to meet. I'll let you know about my next projects.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
HW 44
My comments !! :
Casey: Damnnnnnnnnnn.... You're experience with Dr. Moritz was very interesting. I liked how you were EXTREMELY detailed in the post and explained your thoughts throughout the whole experience also. This matters to me because you were so detailed it feels like I was actually there and it made me feel like I've had first hand experiences with birth. Great job buuuuuuuuddy!
John: Johnnnnn you talked about the “love hormone” and bonding between the mother and baby and how it can be disturbed by interventions. I like how you brought in the breastfeeding part because we didn’t talk about breastfeeding and the importance of it during the unit and I was actually unaware of the importance of it. Your project matters to me because it taught me about the bonding process between a mother and a child and you talked about the negative affects if there is no bonding.
Sophia: Sophia you're project went into reasons why people in the U.S. decide to have and not have children. I like how you explore so many reasons to have or not have children and you use statistics and surveys for evidence. This is important to me because I was also very curious about the reasons for having children because it seems like something almost everyone wants at some point in their life.
Chris: Christ great post sounds like you're group project was the best in the whole class... You're project was supposed to be about procedures conducted in hospitals during births. But after you and this Jasper guy were rejected you found people outside to interview about their views on birth and you also interviewed a very knowledgable pediatrician. I like how you still went into what you originally wanted to do the project on and gave some statistics. I also like how you talked to regular people outside but then got knowledgeable source also that you could ask some questions to. This project matters to me because it's the same thing I did and I think it's important to know what the society thinks not just the people you know! P.S. you make us seem very stupid in your post. And me more than you..
Casey: Damnnnnnnnnnn.... You're experience with Dr. Moritz was very interesting. I liked how you were EXTREMELY detailed in the post and explained your thoughts throughout the whole experience also. This matters to me because you were so detailed it feels like I was actually there and it made me feel like I've had first hand experiences with birth. Great job buuuuuuuuddy!
John: Johnnnnn you talked about the “love hormone” and bonding between the mother and baby and how it can be disturbed by interventions. I like how you brought in the breastfeeding part because we didn’t talk about breastfeeding and the importance of it during the unit and I was actually unaware of the importance of it. Your project matters to me because it taught me about the bonding process between a mother and a child and you talked about the negative affects if there is no bonding.
Sophia: Sophia you're project went into reasons why people in the U.S. decide to have and not have children. I like how you explore so many reasons to have or not have children and you use statistics and surveys for evidence. This is important to me because I was also very curious about the reasons for having children because it seems like something almost everyone wants at some point in their life.
Chris: Christ great post sounds like you're group project was the best in the whole class... You're project was supposed to be about procedures conducted in hospitals during births. But after you and this Jasper guy were rejected you found people outside to interview about their views on birth and you also interviewed a very knowledgable pediatrician. I like how you still went into what you originally wanted to do the project on and gave some statistics. I also like how you talked to regular people outside but then got knowledgeable source also that you could ask some questions to. This project matters to me because it's the same thing I did and I think it's important to know what the society thinks not just the people you know! P.S. you make us seem very stupid in your post. And me more than you..
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
HW 42
For the project Chris, Kevin and I wanted to go to a hospital and record what it's like in the hospital where they have births. I thought that this was a good idea because during the unit we watched the movie that showed us almost all home births and everything was biast leaning towards the more "natural" way and making the hospital seem horrible. We tried to get into 3 hospitals to do this project but we were rejected from 2 and didn't have enough time to get a letter from our school for the third one. So here we were on tuesday afternoon with nothing. Our plan didn't work out. So instead we put together a list of questions to ask a pediatrician that Chris and I know. She obviously isn't directly related to birth but we figured she has more knowledge then your average person and we can get a pro hospital point of view. Then we hit the streets with a video camera and tried to interview as many people as we could. We had heard the views of our classmates and our parents but I wanted to see what the rest of the society thinks. We went through a lot trying to get people to talk to us. We got chased out of Babies 'R us, and turned down by a bunch of people. Some people just didn't bother responding when we tried to get their attention and some said that they didn't feel comfortable talking about it, and some people just straight up sucked at answering questions. The fact that it was hard for us to interview people made me think about how birth is separated from our society. This one woman seemed sooooo uncomfortable when we asked her about it and I was thinking why? One person we interviewed just didn't want to go deep into their answers at all just like 2 word answers. I also noticed that the women we talked to didn't seem to even know as much as us. They didn't have birth plans, they wanted to take drugs so they didn't feel the pain. Butttt I don't want to just explain the videos because there will be no point of the videos.. So overall I would say everyone seems so into birth and they want to have kids but it seems like they're not sure about anything they just want to have a baby. The whole area between being pregnant and having a baby in your arms seems like a fog...
Some of the interviews:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGqNiRWj_4k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKeEqRq9KX8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMJndw620lk
Q and A with pediatrician:
Some of the interviews:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGqNiRWj_4k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKeEqRq9KX8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMJndw620lk
Q and A with pediatrician:
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