HW 47

For my interviews I looked back at the previous homework assignment and thought about what I thought was strange about the dominant social practices of care of the dead, and I formed some questions about them to see if other people felt the same way as I did. I just asked a few random people my questions.

My questions were:

1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?


2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?


3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?


4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?


5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?



Answers I got to the questions were:

Person 1:

1. I think we are all very closed minded when it comes to funerals. Everything we do have to be fitting according to the standards society has set. For examples dressing all black for funerals? Why not instead of mourning for someone death we all celebrate their life and accomplishments. Along with that we should wear colors that are vibrant to celebrate the persons life and not bring a sorrow feeling. It's fine to mourn at someone’s death but crying and feeling depressed is not going to bring the person back. Live in the now along with everyone to bring back fond memories of the person who has died.

2. The correct way to deal with death is inform those closely related to the person who has passed away. Family and close friends. Don't invite strangers who will feel left out unless you incorporate that person into the whole even/funeral. Don't just let him sit there without a clue of how the person who passed away was like while they were alive. Give the person background. It doesn't have to be at a funeral home it could be where the person used to live. It would be nice to have the person be at home around his family and friends one last time all together instead of at a funeral home paying a lot of money when it can all be a home under the right conditions. Don't let the funeral at home take place a month after the person has died make it the day after so it does not rot.

3. I think celebration of life is much more important than a funeral. At a funeral everyone is very solemn and it’s something people want to leave from and not be reminded about death. During a celebration of life you don't think of death in such a negative way. You look back on a person’s life and you think death is eminent but everyone goes out with a bang when everyone recalls the good times they had with that person.

4. I think that open caskets at a funeral are fine depending on the state of the body. I don't think people want to go up to a dead body that has been shot in the face a bunch of times. But at the same time some people are not comfortable looking at a dead person face to face. In my opinion it's good that way a person can see death up close and accept it. In other cultures like tribesman, they see death everyday when someone dies and don't oppose seeing the bodies because its part of life. People come to life when they are born and they die. Society just has us with these implemented ideas of not dealing with death unless people are at a funeral home that’s the only place death is acceptable to see.

5. To tell the truth I have been on the fence about either wanting to be buried or cremated. I would like to be buried but only because I know people will come visit my grave and that way I can feel at ease knowing that my legacy will be there because everyone wants to be remembered I don’t care what anyone says. On the other hand once your dead you are done why be buried instead be cremated that way no more cemeteries have to be expanded or built so other bodies can occupy it. What sucks is either way you have to pay a lot of money to be buried or cremated. I would rather be cremated and have my ashes spread out in Mexico and the U.S. and some ashes left over by some family but if that is too gross then just places where I use to live at or around.
Like a house I will soon own in Mexico.
And I would like a celebration of my life no funeral I don't want people to be sad I want people to remember me for the funny person I was and how I impacted their lives.
Everyone dies and once people realize that they mean nothing both in life and when they are gone we can all come to terms with death and not be put off by it and accept it as a regular part of life.

…PS Andy, Jeffery Rodriguez says what up!


Person 2:


1. They are draining

2. I don’t think there is a "correct" way it's however the family and friends (sometimes the dead) want it to be

3. I'd prefer to celebrate the life of the person who passed. They shouldn’t be sad that they’re gone, they should be happy they lived.

4. Never been to one so I don’t really care for them.

5. Bury me I guess.


Person 3:

1. I don't see anything wrong with the way the care of the dead is currently being done. I feel like the only thing that is slightly disturbing is cremation because I see that the person that you love is being thought of for one last time then they are burned to ash. I guess some people think that it is smarter because it cost less and it will be one less spot that is being used in a cemetery for probably the next hundred years. However the way I grew up was under this dominant social practice, funerals are to remember the body. Burials are to say goodbye to the body but the tombstone and burial site keeps it so that you can go visit the person. What is there to fix?

2. The idea of something being correct would be an opinion, so I don't think there is a correct way. But then again you ask what I think is correct, so what I think is a good way to handle the dead is however they want to be handled. In my interviews a lot of people said it would be up to their children and the person they are in a relationship with or married to but I don't think if someone wants to
me cremated you should bury them. Or vice versa. If they have any kind of crazy request I think these should also be respected because it is the way they want to go out and the way they want to be seen. They should be treated however they wanted to be treated.

3. I think the funeral is a celebration of life. It is like saying goodbye and people cry because it is hard to say goodbye to someone you have probably gotten close to in life. However I do think that funerals are celebrations of the person’s life. People tend to be sad because there is a lot to cope with in realizing that this person is gone, but seeing the body one last time and being able to say goodbye, and talk about what the person meant to you seems to be a celebration in my eyes.

4. Open casket funerals make more sense to me then closed casket funerals. I don't see why you would go to a funeral and not be able to see the body. Then again it all connects back to what the person who died wanted to happen to their body when they died. If a person wanted a closed casket funeral why not? However I think open casket funerals make more sense.

5. Bury me, next to my family. Play music. Remember me for who I was.



I thought it was interesting to see what these other people thought. The first two people seemed to agree with me about the dominant social practices of care of the dead and funerals, because they both thought that the way it is done is depressing and draining. The third person gave me a different viewpoint; he said that he felt that there was nothing wrong with the way care of the dead is in our society. He felt that everything made sense and it wasn’t necessarily depressing because of the way it is done but it is only depressing because someone you loved died, this idea makes sense to me but I disagree because I feel like everyone wearing black is pointless and makes things more depressing and also the vibe of funerals seem negative because they don’t seem to focus on celebrating the persons life. The first person also touched on the idea that I was thinking about which was spending a lot of money on a funeral and being buried. He talked about how it’s a shame that both being cremated and buried cost so much money. He thought that there is no point of spending so much money if you can get together with friends and family at a more comfortable place like where the person lived. I got a bunch of different answers about having an open casket funeral; no one really had the same thoughts as me about it. In my mind it makes sense to have the casket open to see the body, but at the same time it doesn’t seem right. I think this because in my mind it’s not really like seeing the person for the last time because it’s just the body of the person it doesn’t have “the soul”. They saw it as making sense because you’re seeing the person for a last time and saying goodbye. Also a new viewpoint I heard was that looking at the dead body at an open casket funeral is like seeing death first hand and helping people accept death. This kind of changed my thoughts about open casket funerals because when I thought about it that really made sense. Because I feel like death is kind of separated from us, so maybe it’s good to see that dead person face to face. Lastly, everyone I talked to seem to want to be remembered after they die and not have people sad but celebrate their lives for who they were and what they accomplished.