Book: Curtains by Tom Jokinen
Precis:
Funerals are all about putting the people at peace and make them comfortable. So the funeral business has to work with different religions because religion is important to many people and they have different practices. It isn't that different though because they all are set up to protect the people from getting too emotionally hurt from death. Keep in mind the funeral business is a business though and they make money off all these practices that help people feel better.
Quotes:
"It all starts to sound like a fairy tale, Rena said. At least religious faith, when it comes to death, is a fairy tale that soothes. It doesn't deny there's a monster in the closet or a wolf in the woods, but it tames them."
"All religions, says Solomon, have one thing in common: some belief that is in violation of natural law. The Christian resurrection, the Hindu belief in reincarnation are "facts"for which the the empirical evidence is still pending."
"If we think that we just disappear - snap, lights out - we'd never get any work done, either at the office or in benefit of the gene pool."
Analysis:
I found this last section of the book very interesting but sad at the same time. The way it talks about how society and religion shapes our ways for dealing with death I found really interesting because it explained the reasons instead of just talking about the practices. I also found it sad because the way it made me feel was that we're kind of lying to ourselves and not embracing death for what we know it really is. Our way of living is set up so we can make more meaning to our lives and get work done. I would want to live in a way where you don't have to just think about getting work done but you can really embrace that your time here is limited and you should do what you want to and find what makes you happy. I don't know if I'm just rambling but it made me feel like we're machines and we are being programed to think about stuff a certain way so the world can get work out of us. I also so a lot of the business part of funerals which I also found sad, because it seems like everyone out there's a leech trying to suck the most money out of you.. And especially because death is such a difficult thing to deal with. I connected this to the Food unit from earlier in the year. I connected the two because I got the same feeling from both about the people in the business, they seem like they're just out to make money off of you. The food business knows that you're going to need to eat food and want the cheap and quick food, and the business for funerals know that you're going to have loved ones dying and you're going to follow traditions and want to pay respect to the dead person. They seem like things that are inevitable and there aren't very easy ways out of them.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
HW 51
Book: Curtains by Tom Jokinen
Precis:
Everyone has a role to play in our society when it comes to death. They can't act too sad because grief is a sign of weakness in society. We also have an obsession with happiness and entertainment a sad person doesn't fit the norm and grief is not entertaining at all. So we feel bad about grieving and being depressed about death. We do anything we can to change the death process into something it's not to ease the grief.
Quotes:
"We treat mourning as a weakness, a self-indulgence, and that a modern widow would no more throw herself on the casket than she would take off her clothes or pee in public."
"In the end, a simple cremation, advertised at $695, wound up costing the family $2,100 with province of Manitoba's blessing."
"Without some system of defence we'd be paralyzed with overwhelming terror over the fact that we're 'breathing,defecating pieces of meat, no more important or durable than a lizard or a potato,' he says. So what we did, cleverly and quite unconsciously was to collaborate in the construction of culture to give us a sense that we live in a world that has meaning, a world with art and industry and borders and trade rules and quality daytime talk-television, all earthly distractions from the nasty fact parked in our heads we are doomed."
Analysis:
I found this part of the book even more interesting because it goes more into the society and reasons for the ways we go about when dealing with the dead. It explains how society shapes us to feel about death and also mentions religion and how we make ourselves believe that death is not really the end and that the dead person is going to a better place. I think it's interesting that we try to fantasize in our ways of dealing with death. We do things to block out the pain and find ways not to show our sadness. I also found a bunch of things sad like how the funeral services seem to be crooked and trying to just make as much money off the people who are suffering already from losing someone. Also things like people wanting to have light "pure" ashes, whatever that means... It shouldn't matter what color the persons ashes are! It just seems ridiculous and makes me feel like people are just trying to create this fantasy in their head. It makes me wonder how can we deal with death in a more genuine way? Interesting book...
Precis:
Everyone has a role to play in our society when it comes to death. They can't act too sad because grief is a sign of weakness in society. We also have an obsession with happiness and entertainment a sad person doesn't fit the norm and grief is not entertaining at all. So we feel bad about grieving and being depressed about death. We do anything we can to change the death process into something it's not to ease the grief.
Quotes:
"We treat mourning as a weakness, a self-indulgence, and that a modern widow would no more throw herself on the casket than she would take off her clothes or pee in public."
"In the end, a simple cremation, advertised at $695, wound up costing the family $2,100 with province of Manitoba's blessing."
"Without some system of defence we'd be paralyzed with overwhelming terror over the fact that we're 'breathing,defecating pieces of meat, no more important or durable than a lizard or a potato,' he says. So what we did, cleverly and quite unconsciously was to collaborate in the construction of culture to give us a sense that we live in a world that has meaning, a world with art and industry and borders and trade rules and quality daytime talk-television, all earthly distractions from the nasty fact parked in our heads we are doomed."
Analysis:
I found this part of the book even more interesting because it goes more into the society and reasons for the ways we go about when dealing with the dead. It explains how society shapes us to feel about death and also mentions religion and how we make ourselves believe that death is not really the end and that the dead person is going to a better place. I think it's interesting that we try to fantasize in our ways of dealing with death. We do things to block out the pain and find ways not to show our sadness. I also found a bunch of things sad like how the funeral services seem to be crooked and trying to just make as much money off the people who are suffering already from losing someone. Also things like people wanting to have light "pure" ashes, whatever that means... It shouldn't matter what color the persons ashes are! It just seems ridiculous and makes me feel like people are just trying to create this fantasy in their head. It makes me wonder how can we deal with death in a more genuine way? Interesting book...
Sunday, May 1, 2011
HW 50
Book: Curtains by Tom Jokinen
Precis:
Working in a funeral home is strange and uncomfortable, to be around all these bodies with no life. The bodies are all dressed up and painted to appear as if they are still alive. It's hard to get used to because it's not natural. In our society we are covering up how death really looks to help people deal with death.
Quotes:
"Why do we each spend up to $10,000- for most, the third-biggest cash outlay in our lives after a house and a car, according to Jessica Mitford, who wrote The American Way of Death- on funerals?"
"To stick to the skin, real makeup needs heat, which the dead no longer have. Mortician's makeup is more like paint. The green woman needs a heavy base."
"His eyes are open one more than the other, but they're dry and foggy. This is the unembalmed, undecorated, raw look of death."
Analysis:
This book is craaaaaazy. It's interesting because I (along with probably everyone else) don't really know about the process of what actually happens to a dead body before the funeral. It's strange to think about how people try to make a dead person look alive, it's not natural. We are trying to make up death to look like something that it's actually not. A dead body isn't supposed to look good. We are separated from death in our society and in order to help people deal with it we make the bodies look good and put them in a box to keep things out when they're buried. We change death from what it really is in order to help ourselves deal with the pain of losing someone.. The book is helping me understand why our dominant social practices around death are the way they are.
Precis:
Working in a funeral home is strange and uncomfortable, to be around all these bodies with no life. The bodies are all dressed up and painted to appear as if they are still alive. It's hard to get used to because it's not natural. In our society we are covering up how death really looks to help people deal with death.
Quotes:
"Why do we each spend up to $10,000- for most, the third-biggest cash outlay in our lives after a house and a car, according to Jessica Mitford, who wrote The American Way of Death- on funerals?"
"To stick to the skin, real makeup needs heat, which the dead no longer have. Mortician's makeup is more like paint. The green woman needs a heavy base."
"His eyes are open one more than the other, but they're dry and foggy. This is the unembalmed, undecorated, raw look of death."
Analysis:
This book is craaaaaazy. It's interesting because I (along with probably everyone else) don't really know about the process of what actually happens to a dead body before the funeral. It's strange to think about how people try to make a dead person look alive, it's not natural. We are trying to make up death to look like something that it's actually not. A dead body isn't supposed to look good. We are separated from death in our society and in order to help people deal with it we make the bodies look good and put them in a box to keep things out when they're buried. We change death from what it really is in order to help ourselves deal with the pain of losing someone.. The book is helping me understand why our dominant social practices around death are the way they are.
HW 49
My comments on other blogs:
Javon:
I liked your post because it brought up a lot of aspects about death that I haven't even thought about since starting the unit. Such as the part where you say that people get more respect and “a lot of people who act like they care”.. This made me think about why does death change how everyone thinks about you? I also never thought: is the care of the dead even significant? Does it even matter what you do with the person once they're dead? It made me think a lot.. Good post.
Amanda:
I really liked this blog post. The way it was written made me automatically think of the gold fish as if they were people and got me thinking about what's the right and wrong way to deal with a death.. I liked it because it was talking about gold fish so it made everything seem simple and not as big of a deal.. I enjoyed reading it!
Chris:
I liked your blog post because even though you didn't know much about the care of the dead you still found some topics to go into which I found to be very interesting.. I liked how you talked about how being around someone dead at a funeral brings up death which is often pushed off to the very back of everyones mind. This made me think: would it even be possible to live without having death pushed off to the back of your mind? I also like how you talk about the affect of death on other people because I think that's a very important thing when thinking about care of the dead. When you die you're gone, it's the people around you that are going to be affected and have to keep living.
______________________________________________________________________
Comments on my blog:
Amanda:
Hey Jasper,
Your post does a wonderful job of comparing and contrasting a few viewpoints on care of the dead, your writing is thoughtful and also succinct. The questions and answers you wrote about presented new points of view that I had not considered. I enjoy how through out your summary you compare the others points of view to your own beliefs.
Mom:
I like how you got different opinions and viewpoints of how people view funerals and care of the dead. It was interesting to hear to hear views of traditions and how they make sense to some and maybe not to others. It is quite evident that everyone is different and what is right for one, may not necessarily be right for another. Therefore, it make sense to talk about it and find out how people want to be cared for after their death.
Chris:
Hey Jasper,
I think that you have a good blog post. The different interviews do bring different points up, and it is clear that there are different ideas on the way "correct" care of the dead is to be done. I like that you talked about you're ideas though when analyzing this. I think something that some people could have miss understood (like myself) about this blog is only analyzing what people said. This is good but there needs to be what the blogger thinks about the topic incorporated as well. This is your blog of course. So I think that and the comparison between your view, the first person's view and the third persons view. The second person slacked.
Javon:
Jasper I enjoyed reading your post because the questions you decided to ask where questions I was curious about. The different interviews were significant to the post because you were able to get more then one opinion and point of view. The thing that stood out the most to me was how you compared your personal beliefs to the people being interviewed beliefs. Keep up the good work.
Javon:
I liked your post because it brought up a lot of aspects about death that I haven't even thought about since starting the unit. Such as the part where you say that people get more respect and “a lot of people who act like they care”.. This made me think about why does death change how everyone thinks about you? I also never thought: is the care of the dead even significant? Does it even matter what you do with the person once they're dead? It made me think a lot.. Good post.
Amanda:
I really liked this blog post. The way it was written made me automatically think of the gold fish as if they were people and got me thinking about what's the right and wrong way to deal with a death.. I liked it because it was talking about gold fish so it made everything seem simple and not as big of a deal.. I enjoyed reading it!
Chris:
I liked your blog post because even though you didn't know much about the care of the dead you still found some topics to go into which I found to be very interesting.. I liked how you talked about how being around someone dead at a funeral brings up death which is often pushed off to the very back of everyones mind. This made me think: would it even be possible to live without having death pushed off to the back of your mind? I also like how you talk about the affect of death on other people because I think that's a very important thing when thinking about care of the dead. When you die you're gone, it's the people around you that are going to be affected and have to keep living.
______________________________________________________________________
Comments on my blog:
Amanda:
Hey Jasper,
Your post does a wonderful job of comparing and contrasting a few viewpoints on care of the dead, your writing is thoughtful and also succinct. The questions and answers you wrote about presented new points of view that I had not considered. I enjoy how through out your summary you compare the others points of view to your own beliefs.
Mom:
I like how you got different opinions and viewpoints of how people view funerals and care of the dead. It was interesting to hear to hear views of traditions and how they make sense to some and maybe not to others. It is quite evident that everyone is different and what is right for one, may not necessarily be right for another. Therefore, it make sense to talk about it and find out how people want to be cared for after their death.
Chris:
Hey Jasper,
I think that you have a good blog post. The different interviews do bring different points up, and it is clear that there are different ideas on the way "correct" care of the dead is to be done. I like that you talked about you're ideas though when analyzing this. I think something that some people could have miss understood (like myself) about this blog is only analyzing what people said. This is good but there needs to be what the blogger thinks about the topic incorporated as well. This is your blog of course. So I think that and the comparison between your view, the first person's view and the third persons view. The second person slacked.
Javon:
Jasper I enjoyed reading your post because the questions you decided to ask where questions I was curious about. The different interviews were significant to the post because you were able to get more then one opinion and point of view. The thing that stood out the most to me was how you compared your personal beliefs to the people being interviewed beliefs. Keep up the good work.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
HW 48
I never really talked that much about the care of the dead with my parents. I knew that they want to be cremated but that's pretty much it.. I wanted to see if my parents had an old fashion view on the topic or if they really thought about it the same as the previous people I talked to. So I asked the same questions and made the comparisons. My parent's talked a lot and went into some personal memories, so I didn't write everything that they said but just some to give the basic vibe of their views.
Questions:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
Mom- I'm not used to viewings and I don't agree with putting make up on a dead body and to pay a funeral home to fix them up and dress them up. I believe in cremation I think that's better. I think that you don't have to wear black to mourn and I don't think it's necessary but if you want to I think it's fine. I like when people have a memorial and celebrate the life of the person that died because I think it's good to think about the good times you had with the person.
Dad- I've been raised with it and I understand it, I've been brought up where its a way of showing respect to the person and showing sympathy to the family of the person who's lost, but personally I think the whole process is a little weird. I think it's much better to get together and have a memorial service and talk about the person's life and your relationship with them and things that you remember with them... And I think everyone should wear pink (he laughed and said I'm only kidding don't write that). A lot of it I think is just tradition.
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
Mom- Cremation and have a memorial service.
Dad- I think to have a memorial service and I don't care how they dispose of the body. Probably the best thing is to donate the persons body parts for medical purposes. And to have a dinner with reeeaaaally good food and drink afterwards.
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
At a funeral it's usually a preist talking about the person and they have a very limited contact and knowledge of the person.. Where when you have friends talking about them it's a much more personal experience.
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
Mom- I don't like them. I think it's weird. I believe the person is the soul and the body is just the vehicle.
Dad- I think it's a little strange to view a dead body that's been made up and preserved. It's better to remember the person from when they were alive.
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Mom- Spread my ashes in Sweden over the Baltic sea. And keep a picture of me in your home and think of me now and then.. You don't have to go to a special place to see me. And I do want someone at my funeral singing.
Dad- That was the wishes we put in our will but maybe that will change. (And have a memorial service).
These answers somewhat surprised me.. They seemed to have EXACTLY all the same thoughts that I did. My Mom thought everything about the dominant social practices is strange and she doesn't agree with it at all and she's not used to it. My Dad seemed to understand it more probably because he grew up in America but he also thought that the way we do things are very weird. This surprised me because I have seen them go to funerals and I have been with them to funerals but they never really expressed their thoughts about it.. The only thing they ever went into was telling me and my brothers what they want us to do when they die. I think it's interesting that I didn't see any difference between my generation and their thoughts.
Questions:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
Mom- I'm not used to viewings and I don't agree with putting make up on a dead body and to pay a funeral home to fix them up and dress them up. I believe in cremation I think that's better. I think that you don't have to wear black to mourn and I don't think it's necessary but if you want to I think it's fine. I like when people have a memorial and celebrate the life of the person that died because I think it's good to think about the good times you had with the person.
Dad- I've been raised with it and I understand it, I've been brought up where its a way of showing respect to the person and showing sympathy to the family of the person who's lost, but personally I think the whole process is a little weird. I think it's much better to get together and have a memorial service and talk about the person's life and your relationship with them and things that you remember with them... And I think everyone should wear pink (he laughed and said I'm only kidding don't write that). A lot of it I think is just tradition.
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
Mom- Cremation and have a memorial service.
Dad- I think to have a memorial service and I don't care how they dispose of the body. Probably the best thing is to donate the persons body parts for medical purposes. And to have a dinner with reeeaaaally good food and drink afterwards.
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
At a funeral it's usually a preist talking about the person and they have a very limited contact and knowledge of the person.. Where when you have friends talking about them it's a much more personal experience.
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
Mom- I don't like them. I think it's weird. I believe the person is the soul and the body is just the vehicle.
Dad- I think it's a little strange to view a dead body that's been made up and preserved. It's better to remember the person from when they were alive.
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Mom- Spread my ashes in Sweden over the Baltic sea. And keep a picture of me in your home and think of me now and then.. You don't have to go to a special place to see me. And I do want someone at my funeral singing.
Dad- That was the wishes we put in our will but maybe that will change. (And have a memorial service).
These answers somewhat surprised me.. They seemed to have EXACTLY all the same thoughts that I did. My Mom thought everything about the dominant social practices is strange and she doesn't agree with it at all and she's not used to it. My Dad seemed to understand it more probably because he grew up in America but he also thought that the way we do things are very weird. This surprised me because I have seen them go to funerals and I have been with them to funerals but they never really expressed their thoughts about it.. The only thing they ever went into was telling me and my brothers what they want us to do when they die. I think it's interesting that I didn't see any difference between my generation and their thoughts.
Friday, April 22, 2011
HW 47
For my interviews I looked back at the previous homework assignment and thought about what I thought was strange about the dominant social practices of care of the dead, and I formed some questions about them to see if other people felt the same way as I did. I just asked a few random people my questions.
My questions were:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Answers I got to the questions were:
Person 1:
1. I think we are all very closed minded when it comes to funerals. Everything we do have to be fitting according to the standards society has set. For examples dressing all black for funerals? Why not instead of mourning for someone death we all celebrate their life and accomplishments. Along with that we should wear colors that are vibrant to celebrate the persons life and not bring a sorrow feeling. It's fine to mourn at someone’s death but crying and feeling depressed is not going to bring the person back. Live in the now along with everyone to bring back fond memories of the person who has died.
2. The correct way to deal with death is inform those closely related to the person who has passed away. Family and close friends. Don't invite strangers who will feel left out unless you incorporate that person into the whole even/funeral. Don't just let him sit there without a clue of how the person who passed away was like while they were alive. Give the person background. It doesn't have to be at a funeral home it could be where the person used to live. It would be nice to have the person be at home around his family and friends one last time all together instead of at a funeral home paying a lot of money when it can all be a home under the right conditions. Don't let the funeral at home take place a month after the person has died make it the day after so it does not rot.
3. I think celebration of life is much more important than a funeral. At a funeral everyone is very solemn and it’s something people want to leave from and not be reminded about death. During a celebration of life you don't think of death in such a negative way. You look back on a person’s life and you think death is eminent but everyone goes out with a bang when everyone recalls the good times they had with that person.
4. I think that open caskets at a funeral are fine depending on the state of the body. I don't think people want to go up to a dead body that has been shot in the face a bunch of times. But at the same time some people are not comfortable looking at a dead person face to face. In my opinion it's good that way a person can see death up close and accept it. In other cultures like tribesman, they see death everyday when someone dies and don't oppose seeing the bodies because its part of life. People come to life when they are born and they die. Society just has us with these implemented ideas of not dealing with death unless people are at a funeral home that’s the only place death is acceptable to see.
5. To tell the truth I have been on the fence about either wanting to be buried or cremated. I would like to be buried but only because I know people will come visit my grave and that way I can feel at ease knowing that my legacy will be there because everyone wants to be remembered I don’t care what anyone says. On the other hand once your dead you are done why be buried instead be cremated that way no more cemeteries have to be expanded or built so other bodies can occupy it. What sucks is either way you have to pay a lot of money to be buried or cremated. I would rather be cremated and have my ashes spread out in Mexico and the U.S. and some ashes left over by some family but if that is too gross then just places where I use to live at or around.
Like a house I will soon own in Mexico.
And I would like a celebration of my life no funeral I don't want people to be sad I want people to remember me for the funny person I was and how I impacted their lives.
Everyone dies and once people realize that they mean nothing both in life and when they are gone we can all come to terms with death and not be put off by it and accept it as a regular part of life.
…PS Andy, Jeffery Rodriguez says what up!
Person 2:
1. They are draining
2. I don’t think there is a "correct" way it's however the family and friends (sometimes the dead) want it to be
3. I'd prefer to celebrate the life of the person who passed. They shouldn’t be sad that they’re gone, they should be happy they lived.
4. Never been to one so I don’t really care for them.
5. Bury me I guess.
Person 3:
1. I don't see anything wrong with the way the care of the dead is currently being done. I feel like the only thing that is slightly disturbing is cremation because I see that the person that you love is being thought of for one last time then they are burned to ash. I guess some people think that it is smarter because it cost less and it will be one less spot that is being used in a cemetery for probably the next hundred years. However the way I grew up was under this dominant social practice, funerals are to remember the body. Burials are to say goodbye to the body but the tombstone and burial site keeps it so that you can go visit the person. What is there to fix?
2. The idea of something being correct would be an opinion, so I don't think there is a correct way. But then again you ask what I think is correct, so what I think is a good way to handle the dead is however they want to be handled. In my interviews a lot of people said it would be up to their children and the person they are in a relationship with or married to but I don't think if someone wants to
me cremated you should bury them. Or vice versa. If they have any kind of crazy request I think these should also be respected because it is the way they want to go out and the way they want to be seen. They should be treated however they wanted to be treated.
3. I think the funeral is a celebration of life. It is like saying goodbye and people cry because it is hard to say goodbye to someone you have probably gotten close to in life. However I do think that funerals are celebrations of the person’s life. People tend to be sad because there is a lot to cope with in realizing that this person is gone, but seeing the body one last time and being able to say goodbye, and talk about what the person meant to you seems to be a celebration in my eyes.
4. Open casket funerals make more sense to me then closed casket funerals. I don't see why you would go to a funeral and not be able to see the body. Then again it all connects back to what the person who died wanted to happen to their body when they died. If a person wanted a closed casket funeral why not? However I think open casket funerals make more sense.
5. Bury me, next to my family. Play music. Remember me for who I was.
I thought it was interesting to see what these other people thought. The first two people seemed to agree with me about the dominant social practices of care of the dead and funerals, because they both thought that the way it is done is depressing and draining. The third person gave me a different viewpoint; he said that he felt that there was nothing wrong with the way care of the dead is in our society. He felt that everything made sense and it wasn’t necessarily depressing because of the way it is done but it is only depressing because someone you loved died, this idea makes sense to me but I disagree because I feel like everyone wearing black is pointless and makes things more depressing and also the vibe of funerals seem negative because they don’t seem to focus on celebrating the persons life. The first person also touched on the idea that I was thinking about which was spending a lot of money on a funeral and being buried. He talked about how it’s a shame that both being cremated and buried cost so much money. He thought that there is no point of spending so much money if you can get together with friends and family at a more comfortable place like where the person lived. I got a bunch of different answers about having an open casket funeral; no one really had the same thoughts as me about it. In my mind it makes sense to have the casket open to see the body, but at the same time it doesn’t seem right. I think this because in my mind it’s not really like seeing the person for the last time because it’s just the body of the person it doesn’t have “the soul”. They saw it as making sense because you’re seeing the person for a last time and saying goodbye. Also a new viewpoint I heard was that looking at the dead body at an open casket funeral is like seeing death first hand and helping people accept death. This kind of changed my thoughts about open casket funerals because when I thought about it that really made sense. Because I feel like death is kind of separated from us, so maybe it’s good to see that dead person face to face. Lastly, everyone I talked to seem to want to be remembered after they die and not have people sad but celebrate their lives for who they were and what they accomplished.
My questions were:
1. What are your thoughts about the dominant social practices of care of the dead in our society (funerals, dressed in all black, mourning, burying the dead body)?
2. What do you think is the correct way to deal with a death?
3. What are your thoughts on funerals vs. celebrations of life?
4. What do you think about open caskets at funerals?
5. What do you want people to do with you once you die?
Answers I got to the questions were:
Person 1:
1. I think we are all very closed minded when it comes to funerals. Everything we do have to be fitting according to the standards society has set. For examples dressing all black for funerals? Why not instead of mourning for someone death we all celebrate their life and accomplishments. Along with that we should wear colors that are vibrant to celebrate the persons life and not bring a sorrow feeling. It's fine to mourn at someone’s death but crying and feeling depressed is not going to bring the person back. Live in the now along with everyone to bring back fond memories of the person who has died.
2. The correct way to deal with death is inform those closely related to the person who has passed away. Family and close friends. Don't invite strangers who will feel left out unless you incorporate that person into the whole even/funeral. Don't just let him sit there without a clue of how the person who passed away was like while they were alive. Give the person background. It doesn't have to be at a funeral home it could be where the person used to live. It would be nice to have the person be at home around his family and friends one last time all together instead of at a funeral home paying a lot of money when it can all be a home under the right conditions. Don't let the funeral at home take place a month after the person has died make it the day after so it does not rot.
3. I think celebration of life is much more important than a funeral. At a funeral everyone is very solemn and it’s something people want to leave from and not be reminded about death. During a celebration of life you don't think of death in such a negative way. You look back on a person’s life and you think death is eminent but everyone goes out with a bang when everyone recalls the good times they had with that person.
4. I think that open caskets at a funeral are fine depending on the state of the body. I don't think people want to go up to a dead body that has been shot in the face a bunch of times. But at the same time some people are not comfortable looking at a dead person face to face. In my opinion it's good that way a person can see death up close and accept it. In other cultures like tribesman, they see death everyday when someone dies and don't oppose seeing the bodies because its part of life. People come to life when they are born and they die. Society just has us with these implemented ideas of not dealing with death unless people are at a funeral home that’s the only place death is acceptable to see.
5. To tell the truth I have been on the fence about either wanting to be buried or cremated. I would like to be buried but only because I know people will come visit my grave and that way I can feel at ease knowing that my legacy will be there because everyone wants to be remembered I don’t care what anyone says. On the other hand once your dead you are done why be buried instead be cremated that way no more cemeteries have to be expanded or built so other bodies can occupy it. What sucks is either way you have to pay a lot of money to be buried or cremated. I would rather be cremated and have my ashes spread out in Mexico and the U.S. and some ashes left over by some family but if that is too gross then just places where I use to live at or around.
Like a house I will soon own in Mexico.
And I would like a celebration of my life no funeral I don't want people to be sad I want people to remember me for the funny person I was and how I impacted their lives.
Everyone dies and once people realize that they mean nothing both in life and when they are gone we can all come to terms with death and not be put off by it and accept it as a regular part of life.
…PS Andy, Jeffery Rodriguez says what up!
Person 2:
1. They are draining
2. I don’t think there is a "correct" way it's however the family and friends (sometimes the dead) want it to be
3. I'd prefer to celebrate the life of the person who passed. They shouldn’t be sad that they’re gone, they should be happy they lived.
4. Never been to one so I don’t really care for them.
5. Bury me I guess.
Person 3:
1. I don't see anything wrong with the way the care of the dead is currently being done. I feel like the only thing that is slightly disturbing is cremation because I see that the person that you love is being thought of for one last time then they are burned to ash. I guess some people think that it is smarter because it cost less and it will be one less spot that is being used in a cemetery for probably the next hundred years. However the way I grew up was under this dominant social practice, funerals are to remember the body. Burials are to say goodbye to the body but the tombstone and burial site keeps it so that you can go visit the person. What is there to fix?
2. The idea of something being correct would be an opinion, so I don't think there is a correct way. But then again you ask what I think is correct, so what I think is a good way to handle the dead is however they want to be handled. In my interviews a lot of people said it would be up to their children and the person they are in a relationship with or married to but I don't think if someone wants to
me cremated you should bury them. Or vice versa. If they have any kind of crazy request I think these should also be respected because it is the way they want to go out and the way they want to be seen. They should be treated however they wanted to be treated.
3. I think the funeral is a celebration of life. It is like saying goodbye and people cry because it is hard to say goodbye to someone you have probably gotten close to in life. However I do think that funerals are celebrations of the person’s life. People tend to be sad because there is a lot to cope with in realizing that this person is gone, but seeing the body one last time and being able to say goodbye, and talk about what the person meant to you seems to be a celebration in my eyes.
4. Open casket funerals make more sense to me then closed casket funerals. I don't see why you would go to a funeral and not be able to see the body. Then again it all connects back to what the person who died wanted to happen to their body when they died. If a person wanted a closed casket funeral why not? However I think open casket funerals make more sense.
5. Bury me, next to my family. Play music. Remember me for who I was.
I thought it was interesting to see what these other people thought. The first two people seemed to agree with me about the dominant social practices of care of the dead and funerals, because they both thought that the way it is done is depressing and draining. The third person gave me a different viewpoint; he said that he felt that there was nothing wrong with the way care of the dead is in our society. He felt that everything made sense and it wasn’t necessarily depressing because of the way it is done but it is only depressing because someone you loved died, this idea makes sense to me but I disagree because I feel like everyone wearing black is pointless and makes things more depressing and also the vibe of funerals seem negative because they don’t seem to focus on celebrating the persons life. The first person also touched on the idea that I was thinking about which was spending a lot of money on a funeral and being buried. He talked about how it’s a shame that both being cremated and buried cost so much money. He thought that there is no point of spending so much money if you can get together with friends and family at a more comfortable place like where the person lived. I got a bunch of different answers about having an open casket funeral; no one really had the same thoughts as me about it. In my mind it makes sense to have the casket open to see the body, but at the same time it doesn’t seem right. I think this because in my mind it’s not really like seeing the person for the last time because it’s just the body of the person it doesn’t have “the soul”. They saw it as making sense because you’re seeing the person for a last time and saying goodbye. Also a new viewpoint I heard was that looking at the dead body at an open casket funeral is like seeing death first hand and helping people accept death. This kind of changed my thoughts about open casket funerals because when I thought about it that really made sense. Because I feel like death is kind of separated from us, so maybe it’s good to see that dead person face to face. Lastly, everyone I talked to seem to want to be remembered after they die and not have people sad but celebrate their lives for who they were and what they accomplished.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
HW 46
I have a couple experiences with care of the dead because I've been to a few funerals. The ones I've been to have been open caskets. And everyone walked up to the casket and said their last goodbyes to the person. I mean this kind of makes sense to have the person there so everyone can say goodbye before the casket is closed and taken away. But I also thought it was kind of weird because the dead person has make up on and they're dressed up with their hands crossed, it seems like they're fake. It's like they're a person at the wax museum. Another thing was that I carried the casket with a few other guys at the last funeral I went to and it seemed expensive which made me think: why would you spend a ton of money on this box that you're just going to bury in the ground? These were the only things I can think of about my experiences. I guess the only way I've been taught to think and act towards dead people is to be respectful. I think the social norms around the treatment of dead people in our culture is to show respect and to remember the good things about them. I don't think either of these are weird because they both make sense because no one wants to be remembered for the bad things. These are pretty much all my thoughts about care of the dead. I'm not really sure of what's not normal about our treatment of dead people..
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